"testahbilain intay? tadreen shnu weed?" I started my speech I was giving farah furiously.
She just glanced at me, not really caring. How can she be so careless that she's killing herself? I am such a hypocrite myself.
"weed yad3nee drugs. I'm going to give a list awal shay 7araaaam, thaniyan tadreen it can kill you, mu slowly nafs zigayer. You could be dead in a year, o ba3dain shnu? ra7 tandimeen farah. Thalithan Any drugs whatsoever are illegal in kuwait. Sim3ay farah I know et7ibeen etkouneen rebel o madree shnu, bes this is not rebellious ma ga3ada et'9ireen ay a7ad ila nafsch o ma7ad thanee o mu bes? 5alaa9 there's this limit in life and you just crossed it o fee mathal egoul fall down seven times, stand up eight" I gave this insanely long speech, She raised her eyebrows.
"ya3nee you've never done anything illegal or 7araam or that could kill you? You smoke. That's all three love." She said, I ignored what she said even though I know its true.
"sim3ay ya ina you don't do it again wela ana bagoul 7ag umch" I said, I don't think ina zain ahadidha what what other way is there?
"fuck you, I don't need this" she said and left the bathroom, she walked across her marble floor to her elegant black and white bed. Wow. We'd always curse each other but never really mean it. Now I know she meant it.
Whoever says "sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt" is obviously wrong and hasn't lived in the harsh society we live in society, ugh if it weren't for this fu*ked up world, never at peace.
"you know I love you faroo7 o tadreen ina killa 7ag ma9la7tch. Ana masawait chithee ila 3alashan a7bch" I said
"adree, shbasawee bigounch? yalla 5an rou7" She said with her pale and depressed face, She looked so tired.
"akeed tabeen etrou7een?" I asked very considerd
"ee" She said seeming determined.
"cham puff khathaitay" I asked
"one laish?" She said
"every puff is one hour, so we'll wait 30 mins ba3dain 3ala ma nou9al ila 5ala9 one hour" I said, and Farah raised her eyebrows
"wentay shdaraach?" She asked curiously
"google, yallah goumay badlay" I said
She changed into the outfit I laid out for her with matching gold gladiator sandals. She but on some concealer, eyeliner and mascara & we sat there waiting for the half-an-hour. And our overactive imagination started to get a little wild when over thinking took over.
I don't like memories
because the tears come easily,
and once I break my promise
to myself for this day It's a constant battle.
A war between remembering and forgetting.
So I won the battle but I lost the war.
I want to skip school for a couple weeks.
I want to shut my phone off and not log into a computer.
I want to see if anyone will ask me on twitter or text me.
I want to see if anyone would care where I was.
I want to see if anyone notices If I'm gone.
Only a few people care, the rest are just curious.
I'm awkward.
I smile a lot.
I trust people I shouldn't.
I'm quiet at times.
I like to be able to be myself.
I try to be prettier but give up a lot.
I've been hurt.
I don't like my appearance at times.
I'm not perfect.
my over-thinking got too over.
-
"halaaa bel 7elween" my grandmother greeted me and Farah happily.
"hala mama 9afya, shlonich?" I said and Farah greeted her too. We said out hello's to everyone and I asked my mother
"mama wain kilman?"
"dakhel il 9aloun" My mother replied looking down at her phone. salamt 3alaiha wela 6alat ib wayhe, ugh she hates me
"mashkoura yuma, weyed 3a6aiteeny wayh" I said with rage and fury and walked away. I walked into the 9aloon (which is like a big room for esteqbal)
Dashait 3ala kil my cousins emba96een ga3deen 7a6eenluhm 9ma6 o ga3deen yakloun 3al al'9.
"sh'hal ynoun ele ga3deen etsawoona? fee shay esma 6awla!" I said on top of their voices
"ee el7amdellah 7atan e7na eb5air" Salem, Bader's younger, said
"ya3nee damk khafeef ma3a il wayh" I shot back.
"wallah lu mama 9afya tadree, tithba7kum" I said, ma7ad rad 3alay
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket indicating that I had a bbm.
"ta7giroun ha?" I asked, kilman mendimij bel machboos, esta'3farallah but it grossed me out bes Farah eg3idat takel yamhum china wa7ed min il rabe3.
I took my phone out, one bbm from Bader.
Bader: 7ubch already gatilny. That's when I said mama 9afya bitithba7hum, love how he sweet talks me but I ignored the bbm. I'm so not the lovey-dovey type.
Bader: matadreen shitsaween feeny laman ti7gereeny, akh ya galbe
Yasmeen: chub yallah 3ad lat 9eer 3ayar
Bader: LOOOOL khalech chithee 7ag ile e'3azlounich mu 7ag 7abeebch
I was going to reply laman sima3t a7ad eyebeb foug. I quickly went to see what was going on.
I saw this girl wearing hijab, her back was to me. When she turned around my face went pale yellow. She had that even smirk on her face.
Haya ti7ajibat.
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