I haven't seen khaled, bader and all my other cousins for weeks, madree shnu salfat'hum. They're avoiding me, I think and when I go to talk to Remas about it. She tells me not to worry and they're going through a rough time and when I ask if there's anything I can do about it she says no and changes the topic. They never answer my calls or even messages.
Me and khaled are on good terms now but every time I talk to him, The conversation dies and when I ask why he's upset he says "ask your cousins wela ikhtch" why won't anyone tell me but when I found out the truth, I wished wouldn't have asked. The day I found out went like this, but first I'll tell you what happened the day bader asked me to meet him outside, then he sent me a message telling me he was on the beach, I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was there on the shore, waiting for him. I love the sea side. Even though it was a cold winter night I took my shoes off and was walking while the waves touch my feet. I love that feeling, the goosebumps I get every time I touch the water even though the water was warm. I was finally happy, in my home, the chalet. I was lost in my train of thoughts and never realized that bader was poking me on my shoulder for the last 3 seconds.
"shfeech sar7ana?" I remember him asking me
"mafeeny shay, just thinking about the beach" then I said
He gave me a weird look, like shaak feeny.
"ma gimna we hang out anymore" he said and stayed seated on a huge rock/stairs I sat next to him
and said "kibarna bader ma gam i9eer 3ady"
"bes kibartay 7agy ana bes mu 7ag '3airy" he said
"what? shet5arbe6" I seemed shocked.
"Adree 3anchh o 3an khaled yasmeen" He said
"Fu*k, galek?"I said
"la' yesterday I was sitting next to him and I saw your conversation with him bes before arou7 awajha kint bas'elch." Bader said
"um, madre shagoulk bes we're not dating anymore" I said
then ib kil nafseeya gal "galeelat adab o ma tsti7een 3ala wayhch la o you smoke ba3ad? kharabtay som3at il 3yla, mu kafu kilish, bitshoufeen shnu be3eerlch yasmeen mara7 agoul 7ag a7ad bes hayn bitshoufeen shay 3umrch ma shifty" and walked away
"bader, fahim '3ala6, we're just friends latswee shay" I yelled after bader
He slightly turned his head and said "9ij 6i7tay min 3ainy yasmeen" gave me a look and walked away.
As tears fell from my eye 7asait bel thamb o gadr il shay ily sawaita, I've never felt this guilty about something, usually it passes and I don't realize the mistakes I've made, it's not something i'm proud of ya3nee bes shasawy I keep telling myself what's done is in the past but that doesn't excuse the fact that I did it.
The second day khaled had bruises all over his body and broken leg.
That was what happened that day, as for the horrible thing that happened today, i'll start from the beginning I woke up this morning and it was a friday, I should be happy. I found a sport to waste my time in, gymnastics, so i wouldn't stay all day in bed alone.
These days I don't feel like going out or having fun with the rest of my friends or family. I was walking to the 9ala when I heard Remas telling my father
"al7een baba abdullah allah yashfee bes maskeen bader il mushkillah"
"shfeehum?" I asked seeming concerned
-no one answers-
"shfeehum?" I asked again with a louder voice
"7abeebty yasmeen gi3day wagoulch" my mother said
"la al7een itgouleely uma!" I yelled
"7abeebty baba abdullah 3enda heart disease and he is dying soon and they told us it was in the genes fa everyone in the family checked o el7amdellah mafeehum shay ila.." Remas said
"Bader" I said actually I whispered to my self.
No comments:
Post a Comment