"yasmeen 7abeebty goulay shay" Remas said
I was just staring at her, no way. I can't believe this, this year sucks. I've never been happy. Well I have but once I feel that everything is in place, the world starts tumbling down. This is so unfair. I am so selfish! Now my grandfather and bader are going to die and all I think about is me.
...My happiness
...My life
...My problems
Why is this happening to me? Why am I not doing anything to help them?
"wainhum?" I asked them
"bel mustashfa" my mother said
"mama, adree mustashfa! ay mustashfa?" I said in a loud voice
"bathbe7ch itha 3alatay 9outch chithee mara thanya fahamtay? Royal hayaat" Remas said
I left the room, I left the water running in the bathroom. Locked my bathroom door from the outside. Took my phone and went to the roof with my pack of cigarettes since my driver's back it's easier to get them. I'd give him money and he'd buy them for me. I have a secret stash in mu empty shoe box under my bed. I got on the roof, I called my grandfather he didn't answer.My grandfather knows all about my life , every week I'd bring him a glass of water for his calcium pills, he'd ask if I wanted money, I'd say no and he'd give me money anyways. cutest person ever! He'd also ask if I had a boyfriend and I'd blush and say no but then he insists and says "makheth galbch imbayen" I'd tell him about khaled but never tell him it was bader's friend. Then he'd say "intay 9'3eera o yimkn confused adree inch thakeya bes fakray ib 3aglch mo ib galbch". I got extremely irritated and lighted a cigarette, I felt my lips burn and It feels like the end of my tongue was on fire as I finished it and I felt free and rebellious. I have a love/hate relationship with my cigarette. I don't smoke lai dakhel ya3nee i don't smoke lai dakhel 3end my lungs bes ib my mouth I'm not considered a "real" smoker, I don't know how to explain it, only smokers would understand. I started crying the reality hit me that one of my closest friends and my beloved grandfather are going to die It was early in the morning, The sun was not really up and for some reason the view made me cry.
I felt so alone, I called bader
one ring.
two rings..
three rings...
four rings....
"yasmeen" he said, His voice sounded weak. Like he was angry all the time.
"bader" I said with a heavy voice because of all the crying
"yal ghalya laysh tabcheen?" he said
He always compliments me, sometimes I would think I would be better off if I would've dated bader
"laysh tabcheen? laysh matgouly bader? I could have been there for you" I said
"I know you would have" He said and that made me cry more because he knows how much he means to. wai3 tafkeery, I feel like a slut.
"I'm sorry bader wallah, I never meant to.. I swear I won't do it again and I'll never change for anyone, You'll always always be the best bader" I said, even I was surprised with what I was saying but I ruined it by coughing.
"6afay il zigara" Bader said
"shdarak yimkin I have a bad cough or something" I said trying to 'rage3' il mow'9oo3
"rab3e idakhnoon" He said
"bayeelik il mostashfa" I said
"rab3 3endy" He said
"mnu rab3k?" I aked
"Adnan, Abdullrahman o yousef o ba3ad" He said, I noticed that he didn't say khaled
"ga3ed itkalemny jidamhom?" I asked
"La 6ab3an, shnu ifukny min as'elathum bara ga3ed" Bader said
"3adee? maygouloonlik shay il mustashfa?" I asked
"la may9eer bes ishtigt 7ag 9outch, wesh asawy?" He said, I laughed at his failed attempt for doing a saudi accent
"faaaaaaail" I said while laughing
"chub bes 3alashan a'9a7kch" He said, daaaaamn.
"dish dakhel" I said
"okay" He said
"dashait?" I asked
"la'" He said
"dish" I said
"yismi3ouny akalmch" he said
"latgoul ismy, etha towahadt goul omik" I said
"enzain" He said
Adree ina dash la'ana asma9 9out sowalif
"dish dakhel ur bed" I said
"enshallah" he said, faja'a 9outa 9ar rough shwaya, I5ashen 9outa jidaam rab3a LOL
"5alaa9" He said, I laughed.
"i6rid rab3k, bye" I said
"enzain, ma3asalamah" He said, He always knows how to make my day.
I closed my phone, took a 10 minute shower because my eyes were all puffy and red. I wore leggings and a long shirt and went downstairs, told my driver to get the car ready then I saw my dad. He gave me a weak smile and I went over to him to give him a hug. He asked me "are you okay?" I nodded while tears fell from my eyes, 7amdellah my eyeliner was water-proof, I held myself together.
sa'alta "tyee ma3ay?"
"la' it's nearly time and I already said gooodbye" And he left
That was weird.
My driver was waiting impatiently outside, i got into the car.
I listened to the man who can't be moved - @thescript
Going Back to the corner
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard,
got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl
can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money,
they don't understand
I'm not broke, I'm just
a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
but what else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?
Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
Policeman says "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for
If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if
it rains or snows
If she changes her mind
this is the first place she will go
this song is my favorite therapy song from the best band on earth, why can't I have a guy like him?
I remember when we were in the chalet and I sitting on the masana mal the boats. My entire family was busy getting the BBQ ready. I saw a shadow come from behind me and I turned around, makan fee a7ad fa I put my headphones on and I listened to this song and bader came from behind me and scared me I yelled at him and he just laughed then said "yal loner laysh ga3da ibrou7ch?" gltla "chub" o galee "let's walk on the beach fa I said "ok"
solafna o chithee. A cold breeze rushed toward us, I shivered. He put his arms around me to keep me warm because he was wearing a huge jacket. It felt awkward at the time but now that I look back I realized how cute it was and then we sat on the same huge rock. His arms still around me, I looked up at him He looked gorgeous with his light brown slightly long hair and his cap on backwards. I looked into his eyes and for some reason he said "thank you" I smiled and put my head on his shoulders even though I barely reached them and I fell asleep gazing at the golden color sea and the view on the sunset.
My train of thoughts were cut off by hassan, my driver, "yasmeen ana you9al" I told him "yallah rou7 il bait"
I got out of the car and embraced myself for a long and difficult day.
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